it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize