In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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