He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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