YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
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You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
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All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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