I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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