Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize