Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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