Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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