ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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