I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
how drunk are you?
Several
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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