Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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