Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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