i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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