why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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