Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
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I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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