Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.

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(404): This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect. http://tfl.nu/w6ad

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(305): View more from Florida

your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise

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(305): your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise http://tfl.nu/rpa6

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(708): View more from Illinois

Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.

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(708): Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me. http://tfl.nu/gxz0

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm starting a business if you want to get involved

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

oh boy

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings

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(781): I'm starting a business if you want to get involved (1-781): oh boy (781): Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings http://tfl.nu/e1eb

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(843): View more from South Carolina

there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.

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(843): there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done. http://tfl.nu/q1zr

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(817): View more from Texas

What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?

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(817): What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"? http://tfl.nu/9rca

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.

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(816): Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete. http://tfl.nu/oev7

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.

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(832): I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep. http://tfl.nu/qpw1

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(661): View more from California

He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!

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(661): He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth! http://tfl.nu/q4tp

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?

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(918): I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her? http://tfl.nu/6frm

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(206): View more from Washington

If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.

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(206): If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/sboa

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(435): View more from Utah

When did we convert life to cartoon?

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(435): When did we convert life to cartoon? http://tfl.nu/wmk0

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(519): View more from Ontario

He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint

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(519): He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint http://tfl.nu/uh8l

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(541): View more from Oregon

Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty

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(541): Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty http://tfl.nu/qyka

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug

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(267): I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug http://tfl.nu/3mhw

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