If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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