if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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