You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
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The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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