It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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