I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize