Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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