he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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