I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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