No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
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I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
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We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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