Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig

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  (314): My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig http://tfl.nu/q8sk
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.

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  (206): Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use. http://tfl.nu/b12a
  Replies (14) Good night (3702) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.

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  (901): I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort. http://tfl.nu/dcm6
  Replies (11) Good night (3163) Bad night (489)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.

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  (321): Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right. http://tfl.nu/ehig
  Replies (12) Good night (9718) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower

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  (614): He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower http://tfl.nu/xrd7
  Replies (4) Good night (2134) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?

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  (781): on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks? http://tfl.nu/o217
  Replies (5) Good night (3161) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.

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  (480): A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it. http://tfl.nu/wob5
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  (206): View more from Washington

  My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town

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  (206): My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town http://tfl.nu/phfq
  Replies (20) Good night (5550) Bad night (1192) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive

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  (574): Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive http://tfl.nu/wu3i
  Replies (8) Good night (845) Bad night (2886) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes

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  (845): you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes http://tfl.nu/5rry
  Replies (5) Good night (3259) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities

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  (217): Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities http://tfl.nu/y8n2
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  (518): View more from New York

  My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.

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  (518): My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday. http://tfl.nu/tcvi
  Replies (5) Good night (1595) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.

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  (254): I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire. http://tfl.nu/x5cn
  Replies (11) Good night (1936) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.

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  (802): I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday. http://tfl.nu/gxw8
  Replies (7) Good night (1351) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.

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  (717): Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards. http://tfl.nu/kyyg
  Replies (2) Good night (551) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt

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