meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
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I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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