yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize