you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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