Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize