Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize