smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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