It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize