Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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