Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
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How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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