"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize