she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
nutella sex= disaster
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize