hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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