Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize