You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize