so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
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Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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