is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
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I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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