I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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