I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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