after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize