Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize