..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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