Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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