why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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