I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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